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Last updated: Mon. Jan. 06, 2014 - 07:04 am EDT

DRIVING WITH DIPSTICKS, A COLUMN BY BEN BRICKMAN

Snowplows are big; don't charge at them

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Happy New Year! That's what we all exclaimed…and then Old Man Winter dropped a bunch of the white stuff on us. He is such a buzz-kill.

I went out to grab a burger at Five Guys and watched my fellow Wayners playing slip and slide all over Coliseum Boulevard. After a bacon double heart attack with cheese, I came to stop at Coliseum Boulevard and Coldwater Road. I was amazed as I saw a plow truck take a U-turn from the opposite direction, just as the light was going red.

He could not turn the behemoth in a single pass, so he blocked cross traffic while he backed up the truck and got it in two cuts. By then, that light had turned green and someone in a sub-compact shot off and nearly rear-ended the snow plow! HELLO! That little Fiat would get crushed like a bug under the plow! How could they have not seen it? What an obliviot!

You would think that that incident would be enough for one cycle of the light! But NO! To my utter astonishment, another snow plow comes from the same direction, swings all the way over to the far right side and U-turns through the red light and traffic!

I thought, “What the he** is going on in this town!”

Did the plow driver think his yellow flashing light gave him the right of way and was going to signal everyone that he was a complete moron who was going run a red light AND make a U-turn?

He was lucky no one was hurt and everyone stopped.

Crossing to lanes to turn

Art sent in a note in his own handwriting, which in itself is rare these days. He stated that he had a Dipstick sighting on State Boulevard and Clinton Street.

He was waiting for traffic to clear and ready to take a left when suddenly a Dipstick made a left from the right lane, cutting him off and cutting across two lanes of cross traffic, “like nothing was wrong!”

Art stated that he caught up with her later on Clinton and it looked like she was young and probably reading the driver's manual on her “not-so-smart-phone!”

Thanks for sending in the letter Art, keep them coming!

You stupidos

I have only one entry in the euphemism for stupid contest. Renee called in on the Dipstick Line at 461-8285 and suggested we use the Italian word Stupido, with an Italian accent and corresponding hand gesture!

What was remarkable about this is she left a second message three minutes later, consumed by Italian-Catholic guilt, and confessed that she was, at times, the Stupido.

Renee, we all need to be that humble. PLEASE: Be careful out there, no one else is!


Ben Brickman is production manager for Fort Wayne Newspapers. Want to vent? Send it to dipsticks@news-sentinel.com. Include all the details you can think of. If your dipstick gets in the paper he'll give you the credit, or not. It's your call. You can phone in your Dipstick sightings at 260-461-8285. Ben's also on Facebook, Driving With Dipsticks!


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