For more shameless sarcasm, follow Reggie Hayes via Twitter at www.twitter.com/reggiehayes1.
Former NFL receiver Chad Johnson has a tryout this week with the Canadian Football League's Montreal Alouettes. If he makes the team, the back of his jersey will change from “Ochocinco” to “Eh-T 5.”
Did you see there's now a baseball cap from Live Lids that has a built-in LCD screen so that fans can switch logos whenever they want? This will be ideal for Indiana University basketball fans when Notre Dame football season starts.
Bubba Watson won his second Masters golf title in three years on Sunday. Most people celebrated the win, but NASCAR officials called an emergency meeting to discuss why it no longer has the market cornered on driving Bubbas who celebrate wins at Waffle House.
Dallas Mavericks public-address announcer Sean Heath's was fined $25,000 by the NBA for tweets critical of officiating. Apparently, the NBA thought Heath's then-253 Twitter followers might stage a revolt the next time an opposing player is allowed to get away with traveling. In other words, the next game.
Mavericks owner Mark Cuban called the fine a “hurricane in a urinal.” And as soon as the NBA can figure out what the heck that means, it plans to fine Cuban again, too.
After playing poorly and losing at Miami, the Indiana Pacers turned around and looked like NBA champions in a win over the Oklahoma City Thunder on Sunday. The National Split Personality Society has named the Pacers their Team of the Year.
Boston Red Sox manager John Farrell says the “human element” in the new replay-review system makes it “hard to have any faith in the system.” Shockingly, Farrell's comments came after the Red Sox had two replay reviews go against them.
An “anonymous NFL executive” told the Times of Trenton that South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney is “spoiled” and “lazy.” Either this is great insight on the potential No.1 draft pick or the “anonymous NFL executive” would really like to see Clowney available when it's time for his team to pick.
I picked up a newspaper yesterday and the headline said “Cubs pitcher can't hold lead.” It's good to know that there's a new, more modern version of the headline “Dog bites man.”
Don't forget, today is April 15. Also known as Tax Day. Also known as the one day a year you're glad you're not Miguel Cabrera.