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Posted on Sat. Jul. 19, 2014 - 04:15 am EDT

THE KICKER OF THE ARTICLE

late night laughs

late night laughs — Conan O’Brien“Germany won (the World Cup), but they’re still mad at us for spying on them. So they’re considering going back to using typewriters to avoid being spied on. It’s never good news when Germany says they’re going to go back to their old ways.”“There’s currently a petition to split California into several states. Among the new states would be Botoxia, Pornsylvania, and of course, the Commonwealth of Kardashiania.” “Germany won (the World Cup), but they’re still mad at us for spying on them. So they’re considering going back to using typewriters to avoid being spied on. It’s never good news when Germany says they’re going to go back to their old ways.”“To avoid being spied on by the NSA, Germany is considering using typewriters now to communicate so we can’t spy on them.“Germany says they may even go further back and start using AOL accounts.”David Letterman“The new ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie is more fun than a barrel full of people.”“LeBron James is going back to Cleveland. In return Cleveland released five Taliban prisoners.”Seth Meyers“The Orange County Fair in California has started selling bacon-wrapped churros, fried in bacon fat and filled with a half shot of Jack Daniels. I hear they are simply to die of.” Jimmy Fallon“A company in the U.K. is making news for developing a new vegetable called Brussel-Kale, which is a hybrid of Brussels sprouts and kale. They said, ‘We got the idea from a child’s nightmare.’ “ “I just saw that minor league baseball players have filed a class-action lawsuit to demand better pay – as opposed to the other way they could get better pay: being better at baseball.”“Yesterday Congressman Raul Labrador said that impeaching President Obama isn’t a good idea, because, quote, ‘no one wants President Joe Biden.’ And that’s when Biden realized why Obama picked him as a running mate.”


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